ComedyRANT!UncategorizedWriting

Less is Less

I was reading an awesome travel blog this morning called ‘YTravel’, and they had a post which inspired me. It was all about how much harder they plan on working in 2012 which I feel is commendable, if slightly insane.

I mean, work harder? REALLY? Mum, do I have to go to school?

Yes okay, we have established that I am one of the laziest buggers ever to walk the Earth. But I felt this was a good opportunity to advertise this fact to a wider audience, so I told them about my intention in 2012, NOT to work as hard as I did in 2011.

I even resolved to work less hard on blogging, what with there only being four of you reading this and all  :0)

So there I was, as usual, taking the piss, and I used the phrase ‘less is… less’ That’s when it hit me – less, in fact, IS less.

‘Less is more’ is a phrase most writers are familiar with, as it relates to economy of word use (another area in which I am sadly lacking. Jeez, not coming off too well in this post am I?).

But ‘less is less’ relates instead to the amount of writing I’ve been producing.

I’ve blogged, I’ve travelled, I’ve renovated three houses. I’ve social media-d. I’ve also got married, learnt to drive, done a Grand Adventure around England and then emigrated to Australia. It was one hell of a busy year.

What I didn’t do, though, is write.

WHAT? Shock, horror! But I’m a writer… aren’t I?

Well I bloody well better be. My only other marketable skill is… Hm. Let’s just say it’s not marketable. Except possibly to sailors.

Me in a dressIt has been mentioned to me recently that I’d “Bloody well better get on with writing the next book!”.

This, of course, is true.

I have now decided to take this piece of advice.

For the first time in my life I have fans – yes, FANS (and not the electric kind, though I have those as well thank-you very much) – asking me about the next book. At least once a day… or week… or month… okay, but it did happen at least once – I get an email, or a facebook message from someone wanting to know when my next book is out.

Who am I to deny them? The great unwashed masses, the people… peoples… person. Or two.

So if you don’t see me around – that’s nothing to do with me writing my new book. That’s because I now live in Australia. Honestly, keep up! But I will be devoting much more time to getting the next book done, hopefully for the start of the English summer. (Since that can be anytime between May 1st and the middle of September, I’d better be more accurate: Let’s say June.)

The new book has a working title of ‘THAT’S NOT MY MONKEY…’ (because at the time, it wasn’t.) I might be letting slip the occasional progress report to keep you all in the loop – and if anyone hasn’t bought my first book, ‘THAT BEAR ATE MY PANTS!’ – well you damn well should have! Nothing like a great big pay-cheque to inspire me to write the next one! Grab it now – the link is on the left.

No, the other left.

I will of course continue to blog with no discernable focus, until we all go blind from ennui and start falling into one another. I know, you expect no less.

And just like last year I will offer NO prizes on my blog, because I’m poor. And a terrible host.

Feel free to piss and moan about my general lack of tact (amongst other things) in the comments section. I will then point and laugh.

No, really!

I love you all.

Tony

12 thoughts on “Less is Less

  1. Hey tony!!
    Thanks for mentioning us! So cool we inspired a really funny post by you.

    I agree that less is less. We are focused on working hard on less things!!

    Where in Oz are you living?
    Love that pink dress 🙂

    1. Hi Caz! Thanks so much for stopping by! I’m living in the hills north of Perth (although that makes me sound like a cave man) – Roleystone it’s called, much to my amusement. The dress… well, we re-enacted a scene from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert – my girlfriend, her sister, my sister and me, all bought ball gowns from op shops – which is when I discovered I am a size 16 – and hiked around Kings Canyon! Got a few interesting looks I can tell you… although I was the only one in drag. The others actually looked quite nice, until you got close enough to notice the sweat rolling off them – it was about 39 degrees that day!
      Thanks again guys – I only discovered your blog a week ago via The Displaced Nation, and I’m looking forward to reading it this year. Safe travels!
      Tony

    1. Nah! I was just saying that to make myself sound cooler. Truth be told, I don’t even have those electrical fans I was on about. Which is a pity as I’m in Australia and it’s 39°C here. I have a postcard with a windmill on it, but I don’t think that counts :0(

  2. Why Tony, you should have worn that ensemble to the ‘gala’ dinner 😛

    I would very much like for you to also write the sci-fi book you started. Please and thank you.

    But seriously. Write it.

    And also, you’re a duracell bunny compared to me!

    1. Believe me, I considered it! But coupled with the bananas… might have gotten entirely the wrong kind of reputation!
      Sci-fi book is also progressing, though slowly – fleshed out the plot, done a couple more scenes. Loving the characters, so I ‘treat’ myself to writing a bit of it, like a reward hen I’ve been a good boy and done some ‘proper’ writing!
      If I could get TWO books out tis year.. holy shit!
      I mean, the last one took me six years to write :0)

    1. Actually pulling it off is the hardest part – see, my bum is size 16, but the top of me doesn’t easily fit through a size 16 hole. Or something. Anyway it took three people to take that dress off – which made for quite a spectacle in the car park…
      Thanks for stopping by Dan!

  3. When the bear ate your pants, were you wearing them at the time?

    I might just have to read the book and see.

    I am curious though – how lucrative is writing a book of offbeat travel stories? I imagine that it then makes things like bear rental tax deductible.

    Hmmmm….

    – Chris

    1. Hi Chris! Thanks for stopping by!
      As it happens I wasn’t wearing the pants at the time, or the book would have been called ‘That Bear Ate My Bum (Not To Mention My Legs And Feet)’ and I’d probably have written it from hospital.
      I’d say it’s worth a read (but then I would, wouldn’t I?) – as far as money making goes… well. I plan one day to build my dream house with the proceeds. And I can almost do that, in scale, with lego. It’s not all bad – lego is quite expensive, for example – but let’s just say I’ve got a ways to go before I’ll be making a full-time living.
      Luckily I’ve found myself in a rather unique situation, since I emigrated to Australia last month; I actually CAN’T work here, for at least another 3-4 months. Visa issues… which unfortunately means my darling wife has to work for the both of us, leaving me at home to care for our array of hungry technological devices :0)
      So I’ve inadvertently become a full-time author way before I’ve hit the ‘quit my day-job’ threshold – and as a direct consequence I also have to do the dishes every night :0(
      It’s not all glamour being an author…
      Tony

  4. Tony, as always, you rock! Love your blogs and all your writing!

    Lots of loud LOLing. Actually, it should be LingOL other wise it’s loud laughing out louding, and well, that just doesn’t make sense does it. But really, what self respecting cool person puts the ending on the first letter of an acronam? Sigh, what is the world coming to when one can no longer be grammatically correct when trying to use the age old terminology of ‘LOL’.

    What? That’s only been around since FB? Oh. I was fairly sure the caveman era used it frequently. Isn’t there some place where you can view cavemen drawing and distinctly make out the etching of ‘LOL’ beside a stick figure who is clearly holding their belly with one hand whilst simultaneously slapping their thigh with the other in an all out, belly shifting, thigh slapping LOL? Or … perhaps I just live in an alternate reality. Hmmm, yes, I think that is closer to it.

    Anyhoo … first LOL in this blog “‘Less is more’ is a phrase most writers are familiar with, as it relates to economy of word use (another area in which I am sadly lacking. Jeez, not coming off too well in this post am I?)”

    Not like you didn’t know before but clearly, from this reply, you now all know this definitely relates to yours truly as well so, dear Tony, I can relate!

    But hell, ain’t it great fun!

    So, keep up the lack of word economy (or as my English teacher used to like to call it, verbal diarrhoea … it was only when I used that term out in public that I realised some people just didn’t ‘get it’ as much as I did. They looked at me quite strangely in fact. Can’t understand why?!)

    I look fwd to the next blogs and to the next book! Now that you’re a full time writer and all! 😉

    Love your work dude!

    PS a fun time-wasting game (and who doesn’t love those when practicing the important ninja art of procastination) is to think up any random set of letters, google them and see how many pages come up for that acronym and what they are … it’s quite surprising really! I’m sure you could write an entire blog on what comes up for some!)

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